Health and Safety

This is an account of Josh's experience on the train the other day.

It all started when he fancied a cup of coffee, so he went to the 'mobile service unit' (tea trolley to you and me) which actually wasn't mobile at all. So far so good.

Having got his coffee, he asked the guy in charge if he could rest his cup on his mobile service unit whilst he put his milk and sugar in. The train was packed and there was nowhere else to rest it.

MSU man: 'No, sorry, health and safety I'm afraid'.

Josh: 'What do you mean?'

MSU man: 'Well, you know...'

Josh: 'No, not really, I mean, what's actually dangerous? What could happen if I put my cup down here and stir my coffee?'

MSU man, cryptically: 'Oh, you know, it's every man for himself these days.'

Josh: 'What??! What are you talking about?'

MSU man: Silence. Then, 'Look,' he said, chuffed with himself, indicating an alcove which housed a fire extinguisher, 'you could use that. See, it's the perfect height and everything.'

Josh: 'Oh yes, that's perfect, plus, if my coffee sets on fire, I can use the extinguisher to put it out and then the Health and Safety people would be really happy.'

MSU man: 'Yeah, they would.'


This, I think, demonstrates perfectly the lack of humour which the implementation of health and safety regulations seems to generate. A nation of parrots mouthing 'NO sorry, it's health and safety' without question.

Another thing he saw was a sign on the escalator saying, 'Please don't walk backwards down the escalator'.

True, that's probably not a good idea, and 99% of people won't walk down backwards. So where do you stop? Surely they should also mention that people should not jump up and down, stand on one leg, do a handstand, a headstand or a cartwheel..... the list is endless.

But really, it's our fault. If we stop sueing organisations for giving us a hot cup of coffee, then maybe they'd stop treating us like complete morons. It's really down to us.